Love Without Limits

expectation_rhospiritualguideIn recent readings, I have had numerous people ask me about whether they are loved by their partner, lover, friend, relative, etc.

The definition of love in the dictionary is listed as: an intense feeling of deep affection, fondness, warmth, intimacy, etc. or to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment.

But what I have discovered in readings is that someone loves for many reasons and sometimes they can only love the best way they can. We have expectations of how we want to be loved. Some people measure love by using materialism or by measuring it demanding emotional exclusivity. We all measure love differently. We measure it by our personal expectations of what we want from the other person.

We could be in a relationship where someone is willing to take us out to for dinner, movie, shopping, dancing etc. but on an emotional level this person cannot reciprocate. They use financial means to express how they feel. Over time we may recognize that we want or need more than just “materialistic things” whether they are actual objects or social engagements, etc.

Everyone wants to be loved emotionally. We want to feel safe that we can be our true selves without judgement or competition or fear not being accepted.

People tend to love the best way they can. We pick parameters that we are used to. The parameters that we pick are usually very limiting. Why do we pick limiting beliefs? Because, we fear. We fear loving and being loved.

Ask yourself what are your expectations of how someone who should love you. Then ask yourself why you have those expectations. What kind of love would you be capable of reciprocating and how would you do it? You need to be honest with yourself when asking all these questions.

You may realize that the person you are questioning about may in fact feel a lack of reciprocation on your part. Maybe your expectation is too high or impossible for anyone to really attain.

In making an effort to understand the other person and also what it is that you really want, you will help clarify the situation. If the interaction with someone feels lacking, then it is. Confronting the lack you are feeling by contemplating the relationship will help you understand whether you should stay in it or if should you speak to the person and express how you are feeling. It also might show if should you make some changes in your approaches in this relationship.

Love is beautiful; however, it cannot seem beautiful if we stop keeping it pure and start putting expectations and restrictions on it. If we start removing the feelings of deep affection, fondness, warmth, intimacy and only look at relationships for what we are getting out of it, this will start to affect the truth in the relationship.

Love is beautiful. Relationships that have a balanced feeling of love are empowering. However relationships that lack that true form of love can be stressful, emotionally draining and can even make us very ill.